this is one of those typical forwarded mails .........but it potrayed the little truths of life...........so thought to share on the blog
A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the
average Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard at
work. And if he works for the 'West Bengal Gawrment'
he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have
a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30,
break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at
2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go
home at 4:30. It's a hard life!
B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't
have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are
wearing spectacles all the time like IC, self, Bubai, Dibhai.
C is for Chappell. This used to be the Bengali word
for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the
night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na
ghumaley Chappell team theke ber kore debe.' Now
with IPL coming to Eden Gardens C is for 'Choppol diye maar',
bhalo na khelley.
D is for Debashish or any other name starting with
Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has
to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish
everywhere and trying to get creative they are also
called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik,
Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.
E is for Eeeeeeeesh. This is a very common Bengali
exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie
Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali,
especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every
year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.
F is for Feeeeeeesh. These are creatures that swim in
rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the
Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such
strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a
fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what
feeesh is theesh!'
G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good
name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like
Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls
will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku,
etc.
H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a
rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and
you have the successors to The Bheatles!
I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones
which would kill any ordinary person, but which the
Bengalis eat with releeesh!
J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete
without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where
he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing
number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2
million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all
look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher
Jhol is a close second
K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite
Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of
Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire
Bipasha Basu).
L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People
in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing
it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the
local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition
to Mt. Everest.
M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose
antics would effortlessly frighten the living
daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as
Formula 1 race car drivers.
M is also for Maunkey Cap and Muphler!!
N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked.
It is the most interesting naked word in any language!
O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of
mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the
nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on
the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)
P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite
phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an
expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are
Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city
comes to a stop.
Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the
Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could
think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they
never use them in Kolkata.
R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Kabiguru
Rabindranath Tagore ( SRK doesn't know how to address him
properly)got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all
Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their
acceptance speeches as if they were directly related
to the great poet and walk with their head held high.
Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close
second !
S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a
genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that
he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old.
Of course they will see to it that he stays in good
form by doing a little bit of 'joggo' and
'maanot'.
T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still
trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's
faster to walk.
U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is
handed one.
V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most
non-violent violent people around. When an accident
happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and
scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but
the last time someone actually hit someone was in
1979.
W is for Water. For three months of the year the city
is underwater and every year for the last 200 years
the authorities are taken by surprise by this!
X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkota, with Park
Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that
they must eat cake-pastry that day.
Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than
today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).
Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone .
P.S. special acknowledgment to the
1. creator ....Hemanta Pramanick
2. FWD karne waala....debopam dhar choudhury
